Towards a New Conservative Paradigm

Since the Republican standard-bearer got his butt kicked in the election, I have heard any number of ridiculous opinions on why we lost so handily and what to do about it.

Why Obama Won So Easily

Take your pick:

• brilliant use of social media
• refusal to compromise
• greatest populist since Perot
• greatest community organizer since Saul Alinsky
• courage to tell lies unabashedly and never repent
• clinging to his credo, come hell or high water

We must decide which of these is true.

Hey, The Campaign Is Over

Some have ridiculed Mr. O's “campaigning” for the “fiscal cliff” by making campaign-style speeches to large crowds around the country. He should be having face-to-face negotiations with Congress, they say.

Au contraire: his strategy is brilliant.

See, after every election, including those by both parties, it is traditional to dismantle the campaign staff, send everyone home, and hire someone to sweep the floors and turn out the lights. Not so with Mr. O: his campaign machine is still running full-throttle and firing on all cylinders. I suspect that this will continue to be so into the 2014/16 elections. This makes for a rather formidable challenge for Republicans from the git-go.

Our Old Message Is Not Enough

Up until now, this is what the conservative wing (now retitled 'tea party' during the last couple of elections) has stood for:

• Second Amendment
• stop the EPA
• against wealth-transfer payments
• fighting abortion
• global warming is a hoax
• reduce the footprint of taxes on the economy
• law and order, military spending

If you were to cook up these ingredients into a stew and serve it for lunch in the California prison system, you would get a citation for cruel-and-unusual-punishment for serving a thin gruel of little nutritional value.

Popular credo seems to have left these in the dust, and conservatives do not seem to have noticed.

What The Punditocracy Says

“Vote like your lady parts depend on it” is the e-card heard 'round the world, and, despite the fact that it was quickly deleted, is the moment when Romney lost the election. See, it communicates the message “we are for you” or “we really care about you”, and notice the important word “you”. For those (especially the well-paid political pundits who flood the airwaves) who think this trivial, I suggest you reread How To Win Friends And Influence People. The effectiveness of this rather shameless pandering?

Humbly suggest you check the final Electoral College tally.

Worse, some have suggested that the more Republican policies resemble those of Democrats, the more votes we will take away. The Bush clan (and, sadly, Cruz), seem to believe that if we surrender on Amnesty, all Mexicans will magically start to vote with us. Rove thinks that all we have to do is triangulate on important issues, and we will clear the table. Both these types of threads got their collective butts kicked in the election.

We will never win by compromising our beliefs and principles.

Step Number 1

We must show Jeb Bush and Karl Rove to the door. full stop. Tell them to not let the screen door hit them on their backsides on the way out.

Conservativism: The Next Generation

We need a new playbook, cuz our old one just ain't gonna do the job. No, I ain't no genius, and do not have the smarts to tell you how to write a new one (a truism I wish a few other prominent pundits would adopt).

Datum #1: we want all of you to be rich, fat, and happy.

Make it easy to start and run your own business. How about making all subchapter S income devoid of taxes below a certain limit? How about preventing local city councils from making it almost impossible to start a new business without a big bankroll and a lawyer on retention to navigate the municipal bureaucracy? How about preventing a new start-up restaurant from being subject to 250 business taxes?

Datum #2: your life will be a great one.

All the Chicken Littles screaming in your ears are totally wrong. You are going to be wealthier, healthier, and happier than your parents. There is no way this is not going to be true.

Datum #3: we are the champs.

The United States of America is the greatest nation to have ever existed. We are all fortunate to be alive at this point in history. We need your help to make it even greater.

Datum #4: we shall never surrender.

Thus intoned Churchill during the darkest hour of WW2. We are who we are, we believe in what we believe in. Never, ever forget that.

Datum #5: prosperity is just around the corner

Ever wonder how FDR presided over the Great Depression that was not only very bad, but got progressively worse under his administration, and still got handily re-elected? He drew pretty pictures of his vision of the future with crayons.

Datum #6: si, pueda.

Reagan, and Nixon before him, won in historic presidential election landslides. They won the electoral votes even in states these days considered to be “blue” and therefore untouchable by current credo: NY and Calif. We did it before, and we can do it again. All we require is courage, something lacking in our presidential nominee for the 2012 elections. What we got was The Cowardly Lion, and he got his butt kicked.

Someone has to start choosing pretty, shiny, colored beads and string them into a necklace that Americans will be proud to own. That task needs to start now, today. Super Tuesday of 2016 is too late.