My Plan To Grow Jobs In Our Country

A politic pundit growled that one has not the right to criticize Mr. O’s plan, smarty pants, because where is your plan? Challenge accepted. Any idiot can put out an addle-brained jobs program, and I forthwith prove my theorem by presenting my plan to increase employment in the United States of America, the greatest and richest country on earth and in history.

My plan is very flexible, sort of like eating Dim Sum or a buffet: whatever looks good, take it.

E-VERIFY AND HIB VISAS

Require all employers to run all employees, current and new, to run their SSN’s thru E-Verify, and prohibit all H1B visas. This situation will persist until the unemployment rate is below 5%. See, employers use legal/illegal immigrant workers who will work for lower and/or illegal wages. Problem: these workers often send $$$ home and their employment does not always show up on official employment stats. This choice will increase the cost of employment to business, not to mention consumer prices. You didn’t think that there was going to be a free lunch, did you?

HECK WITH THE ENVIRONMENT, LET’S ALL POLLUTE

Let oil companies drill until they are drunk: Gulf of Mexico, frack in the Bakken-whatchamacallit, whatever. Let painters and coal power plants pollute the air to their little hearts’ content: the real source of air pollution is vehicles: cars, trucks, and especially diesel powered public transit buses. Let anyone pollute if they will be creating jobs. Hold all rules and regulations and enforcement actions and whatever by the EPA in legal abeyance for a solid period of, say, 5 years.

ELIMINATE UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE

Well, OK, I will permit you to have 4 weeks worth. After that? Nada, my friend. Is this mean and not compassionate? Sure. Will this create suffering, hunger, and humiliation. Absolutely. Will this cause you to get your fat *ss off the stupid couch, go job hunting (we used to call this ‘pounding the pavement’) 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, and accept virtually anything? You betcha.

ELIMINATE THE MINIMUM WAGE

OK, tell me: you are faced with either an empty refrigerator or picking up dog poop and soda bottles in the park for $2 per hour, which would you rather have? With this choice, if you can convince someone to take a job at a low wage, that wage is totally legal.

MAKE DAY LABOR LEGAL

The journaleros (I am sure this is spelled wrong) have the right idea. Make it totally legal to hire someone for only one day and pay them in cash at the end of the day’s work shift. OK, put in a few requirements, but make it legal for anyone. Yeah, the IRS and the Social Security will get cheated, but this will persist only until unemployment goes down.

TELL THE NLRB AND THE EEOC TO TAKE A HIKE

All rules and regulations from these 2 folks have the net effect of preventing employers from hiring whomever under whatever conditions they please. Put all such things from these 2 agencies on legal abeyance until unemployment is below 5%.

SICK THE IRS ON ILLEGALS

Many do not know this, but it is illegal for the IRS to crack down on illegal immigrants. It is easy to identify these folks: they do not have a legitimate SSN, so the IRS assigns them a ‘TIN’ (tax payer id #) for payroll purposes. These numbers are easy to know: they have a unique numbering scheme (no, I forget what this is, something to do with ‘9’ in the first few digits). Require the IRS to cooperate with ICE in identifying and deporting illegals, opening up jobs for real citizens. These illegals are easily identified by their curious TIN.

BEG THE EVIL MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS ON HANDS AND KNEES

US companies are sitting on $trillions of cold, hard cash that they do not wish to spend. They are fearful. If they do spend, there will be mucho jobs. Let us ask them what changes we can make to get them to spend their saved up dough, and make any and all changes they wish. Yes: we will be their servants. So what?