Ask A Mescan - what part of "illegal" do Mexicans not understand?

Do not get me wrong: I really like the "ask a mexican" guy, because he is painfully honest, which I greatly respect. A year ago, he wrote a column on this subject, but being a slow-minded citizen of the USA, I only just now became aware of it. My answers which are mostly (but sadly, not entirely tongue-in-cheek) are in [square brackets] following each of his comments.
I cut-n-paste his comments, but the full article can be found here:
http://www.ocweekly.com/2011-10-13/columns/ask-a-mexican-illegal-wrought-iron/
................
DEAR MEXICAN: What is it about the word "illegal" that Mexicans don't understand? D.G.

DEAR GABACHO: Take your pick, D.G. Mexicans don't understand the word "illegal" because:
(A) when paying their gardeners, nannies, busboys and factory workers in cash (and forgetting to withhold payroll taxes), U.S. employers don't seem to understand the word "illegal," so why should Mexicans?
[OK, you score the first point. I personally know rich people who like hiring illegals, because they work for 1/3 the $$$ of union labor, besides not having to file the government paperwork]
(B) The Anglo-American trappers and traders whom you and I were taught to admire as tough, self-sufficient frontiersmen and pioneers were among the American Southwest's first illegals. Who are you calling illegal, gabacho?
[no, they were conquerers who had guns and took what they wanted. If a bunch of burrito rollers were to take over, say, San Diego with AK47s supplied by Obama's Fast 'n Furious campaign, I would not call them "illegals"]
(C) Presidente George W. Bush's proposal to offer amnesty and a guest-worker program during his administration to all illegal immigrants—a move designed to appease his supporters in the business community—means even Republicans don't understand the word.
[You score another point, but it would be fun to randomly spread rumors about an imminent INS raid at one of the bigger Mescan food joints in the Fruitvale District in Oakland, and watch them scatter like la cucaracha. I cite as my example a similar rumor spread a few years ago at Chicago meat packing plants: a rumor spread of an imminent raid, and the next morning the half dozen largest plants had zero employees. There was a raid, but only to capture one Mescan who was running an online scam. Within 24 hours, all the meat plants were 100% staffed with union labor.]
(D) Whether they buy a fake passport or take a citizenship oath, Mexicans will never be more than wetbacks in the eyes of many Americans, so why bother applying for residency?
[because people who buy fake green cards, not passports, are not elligible to apply for residency: they would have to go back to Mesco, apply, and stand line with the other millions who are following the rules, probably w/o real hope]
(E) The Society of Professional Journalists just passed a resolution asking newspapers to require its reporters to describe as "undocumented workers" the men and women you call "illegal."
[SPJ? pinche puto pendejo baboso. Are you trying to tell me that a piece of non-legal paper by a bunch of white guys with fat butts, is inspiring millions of Mescans to cross the border?]
(F) Little-known fact: The fragment of poetry on the Statue of Liberty ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free," etc.) does not, because of a French engraver's error, include Emma Lazarus' rarely cited footnote: "No Mexicans, please." Fucking French.
[little known fact: the language they speak in Mesco is not Spanish, but a dialect thereof, as I was educated of in no uncertain terms by a proud Spaniard who was born and raised in Spain; he called it the "Mexican" language. Likewise, the language we speak in the USA is not English, but a dialect thereof. So there.]

But the real answer is the word itself. "Illegal" is an English word; Mexicans speak Spanish—yet you never hear Mexicans whine that their bosses don't understand such easy Spanish phrases as "pinche puto pendejo baboso," do you?
[no, but I get your drift. I know, rather haltingly, 2 european languages, and a smattering of 3 others. Americans are notorious for, unlike the rest of the world, not being multilingual. (god, I hope I spelled that correctly...)]
...............
I am not racist, but some of you probably think I am and have already hit the 'delete web page' button. ICYW, I am ethnic Japanese. Being minority, I am, therefore immune to charges of racism, right? Yes? Hello??...
I hasten to point out a similar point: I live in the SF/Bay Area, with 2 distinctive and rather large Chinatowns. You enjoyed your plate of chop suey? Well, the odds of that skinny guy who cooked it being an illegal immigrant are about the same as that of a burrito-roller in the Fruitvale district in Oakland [to answer your next question, I have rolled both chinese egg rolls and Mescan burritoes professionally, and the technique is identical; the only difference is the accent of the guy screaming at you because you are going too slow.].

Benghazi Cover-Up: What is Obama Hiding?

In recent days, it is becoming increasingly obvious that the Obama administration knew exactly, in real time, what was happening on the ground during the planned military assault on our Embassy in Benghazi. He is consciously dissembling the truth. The question is why.

HE KNEW

From 4p to 6p EST, during the assault, POTUS and the DNI (that would be Panetta) or perhaps VP & SecState (media accounts differ), had an emergency meeting during the assault. They were fully aware. They were getting real-time intel. They were getting desperate calls for backup. Forces on the ground were supplying intel about location and strength.

PLEASE, SIR, LET US HELP

There were precision gunships in the air at the time. The top-secret “Gorgon's Eye” was redirected to the embassy. There were military assets in Tripoli ready to go. A full US Air Force Wing was located in Italy, only 2 hours away. Yet, POTUS made a deliberate decision to stand-down US forces.

WHADDUP?

Now, the question is not what he did, but what was the reason for his decision to inaction? I am reminded of the reaction of Jimmy Carter when our embassy in Iran was seized in 1979: he made a deliberate decision NOT to react. Mr. O seems to have made the same mistake. Lesson: those who ignore history are bound to repeat its mistakes.

OBAMA IS A LIAR

2 days later, he assigned his UN rep to appear on all of the Sunday talking head shows to promote the idea that a goofy YouTube video was the cause of all of the uproar. This was a flat-out lie by Mr O. It took a couple of weeks for the real story to trickle out. One suspects that this is exactly what Mr. O was hoping for.

OBAMA IS A PANTY-WAIST

OK, this is where I get to have fun second-guessing POTUS (Google it, people). It is traditional presidential behavior since I was a kid during such a fabulous presidential failure for POTUS to call a press conference and answer any and all Q's from the media as a contrite mea culpa, to put the disaster to bed, and continue business as usual. This is not what Mr. O did. What is he ashamed of? He is neither the first nor last to have done such a thing.

I suggest cowardice. Other thoughts:

• SPECTRE OF JIMMY CARTER. The nightmare in Iran, during the closing days of the Carter Administration that cost him the election is surely front and center in POTUS thinking
• OPEN HAND. POTUS has a policy towards the Islam world is the open hand of friendship. The paramilitary assault on Benghazi does not accord, so he ignored it.
• TILTING AT POLLS. The image of a failed military intelligence operation would surely sink O's poll numbers. So, in a cynical judgment, they chose the image of incompetence and flaccidness over failure.
• PARANOIA. I have even heard a rather phantasmagorical theory that Ambassador Stevens and Embassy personal were involved in a covert CIA operation to train operatives and ship them to Syria via Turkey.

Whatever the final truth, let us admit that POTUS is not being honest. Is this what you want in the Oval Office for the next 4 years?

What Is “California Gasoline”?

I will do my best to explain, and you will learn all about air pollution in California. Yes, it will get rather technical and we might end up in the scientific jargon weeds. This is unavoidable: the very legal existence of the California Air Resources Board (CARB) rests on a rather subtle technical point that is no longer valid.

WHAT COMES OUT OF THE TAILPIPES OF CARS

Rather remarkably, regardless of what you may think about evil, polluting gasoline powered cars, most of what comes out is carbon dioxide and water. Problem: small amounts of partially burned gasoline, carbon particulates, carbon monoxide, and oxides of nitrogen also come out, and these are the pollutants we need to reduce/eliminate.

OZONE

This is the real health danger in the air. Interestingly, ozone does not come out of the the tailpipe of cars. Reducing the amount of this substance in our air is also the heart and soul of the legal authority of CARB to their Byzantine regulations.

NO(X) and BROWN AIR

When I was kid growing up in the Los Angeles Basin, which is surrounded by the San Gabriel Mountains, the air was always brown. Not only could you see it, you could smell it and often times in summer you could not even see the mountains. This is caused by the oxides of nitrogen. Oddly, this might have been really gross and the original political impetus for air pollution regulations in the first place, but it is not much of a health hazard compared to ozone.

VOC

You will often see this phrase in CARB regulations, and it stands of 'volatile organic compounds'. Steady, stay with me, this is the heart and soul of the justification of CARB existence in the first place. Have you ever spilt some gasoline on the ground or opened up a tin of paint thinner? Did you notice that acrid, petroleum-like smell? These are the infamous VOCs. In combination in temps in the high 80's and sunlight (read UV light), they produce the naughty ozones. This is why most varnishes have something called “VOC compliant” statements on the label or why gasoline nozzles have that rubber thingie making it impossible to insert the nozzle into your gas tank. And, since early cars also coughed out small amounts of partially consumed gasoline including VOCs, this gave CARB the legal authority to regulate cars and the fuel they used, not to mention carpenters and furniture folks who use these types of solvents.

LEVs

Lo and behold, a miracle occurred: low emission vehicles (LEV). First was Honda, followed soon by Toyota in the late 80's. See, the original environmental justification for public transit buses was this: even though buses were diesel and coughed up mucho pollution, it was still less than if the occupants thereof drove their own cars. However, if everyone on that bus drove an LEV, it would produce less pollution than the public transit diesel bus. All it took was a bit of clever of engineering and tweaking of the carburetor (not to mention someone who got more than the B- in Chem 12 that I got at Cal). This is the reason LA air is no longer as brown as it used to be, and having absolutely nothing with CARB efforts.

SPARE THE AIR DAYS

I hope by now that you have one gigantic question: what the heck does this have to do with the famous “Spare The Air Days”, and realize that this is really a worthless joke. Fireplaces, BBQs, lawnmowers, and gas leaf-blowers have nothing to do with pollution. On these days, there is only one thing that will decrease ambient air pollution: cars, public transit buses, and diesel trucks. The one thing that CARB did with a measurable impact on pollution is free public transit days: people really do ride buses and leave their cars at home. Of course, faced with a budget cut, CARB eliminated the one thing they did that really reduces air pollution: free rides on public transit.

Government bureaucrats: go figure.

SUMMER GASOLINE

No doubt, you have heard this phrase in the news. You also know that it is more expensive. Whaddup? To get California 'summer gasoline', refiners must filter out the lighter, more ethereal VOCs. The theory is that the less there is of these lighter hydrocarbons, the less they will get into the air and therefore produce less ozone in the summer. Problem: in the early 90's, CARB declared that year round ozone levels in California met environmental standards and they achieved their goal. You might think that this would be the basis for a big party, not to mention the folding up of the CARB tent. No way. To this day, they have continually tightened standards and required yet more pernicious regulations, even though, legally, California no longer has air pollution.

BOUTIQUE GASOLINE PRICE

Filtering out the volatiles costs money, and this is why California has the so-called 'boutique' gasoline. Standard RBOB (Google it, people) does not meet these CARB requirements. So, we lucky motorists in California in summer have a special gasoline that costs more produced specially for us specifically by gasoline refineries in California.

IN CONCLUSION

I hope that, by now, you have deduced that in my personal opinion, CARB can simply fold tent and go home. They have done their job, and bravo. We can, without hurting our air, use standard RBOB gasoline year round, and that 'SPARE THE AIR DAYS' are no longer necessary for public health.

Bust out the California sparkling wine. 

A Primer: the Afghanistan war for dummies

Prerequisite #1

I require you to look up a topo/political map of NE Afghanistan, the tip of Uzbekistan, and the NW corner of Pakistan.

Prerequisite #2

watch the interviews by Lara Logan on 60 Minutes a couple of weeks ago of Karzai and US General John Allen.

Assuming that you have not skipped #1 and #2 above, you already know more than I.

Somehow, the Afghan War remains a black hole in the public mind, despite the fact that this where the real war against Islamic terrorists is being fought, and the Good Guys are losing.

Lesson #1: the Kunar Mountains

Here, the Bad Guys have safe haven, and here also you will find the heart and soul thereof. National boundaries mean nothing. Going back in history (at least back to Alexander the Great), those in control of Kabul have no control over these mountains, and this situation still applies today. It is from here that support for international Islamic terrorists originate.

Lesson #2: What is in a Name?

Nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing. It is habit in the American mainstream media to proudly proclaim that there is mutual distrust and hatred among the various Muslim groups, and Never the Twain Shall Meet.

Nonsense.

Right now, today, Al Qaeda and the Taliban are happily coordinating in the Kunar Mountains. So, it would be a strategic mistake to make too much of the distinctions between various extremist groups.

Lesson #3: Do Not Blame Karzai

It is popular sport to criticize President Hamid Karzai for the problems bedeviling his country: his administration is corrupt, his brother takes bribes, he is a weak leader, he is feckless, he is coddling terrorists, and so forth. This is akin to complaining about the sleeping drunk on the sidewalk while ignoring the roaming gangs marching down the street in formation wielding AK-47s.

Lesson #4: we have met the enemy, and they is Pakistan

Perhaps you have always wondered why Islamic terrorists are so persistent. Surely they have an incorruptible fountain of succor and support? Yes, indeed, and that fount has a name: Pakistan. They signed a peace treaty with the Haqqani clan, giving them safe sanctuary in southern Uzbekistan.

ISI is the Pakistani equivalent of our CIA. The ISI is the primary supplier of food, gold coins, logistical support, military intelligence, military training, and weapons to Islamic terrorist groups. Without the ISI, the movement itself would collapse in a NY minute. These 2 groups are allies, peas-in-a-pod, and whatever other mixed metaphor you wish to employ.

Pakistani support surely extends beyond the ISI: regular military, ordinary citizens, bureaucracy up to and including the president and prime minister (can you name them without consulting Wikipedia? You should, since they are the primary, global cheerleaders for radical Islam: Zardari and Ashraf; OK, how many of you got either name correct? Hmmm?).

Final Exam: how do the Good Guys win the war?

Easy: flatten the current Pakistani government with a steamroller, and replace it with one more sympathetic to the West. There is no other way to combat state-sponsored terrorism.  

Obama Lies About Benghazi

the fairy tale currently being peddled by our Coward-in-Chief is that 'we' (they) still do not know the full story.

Nonsense.

Anyone who has heard the testimony of Lieutenant Colonel Andrew Wood can know the truth. In the days before the murder of our Ambassador to Libya, said security officer on the ground sent several official cables to Washington begging for more security, as they suspected an imminent military operation by Al Qaeda. Not only where these requests denied, but said officer was told in no uncertain terms to stop requesting assistance, as none would be supplied.

Plus, it is my understanding that all embassies, including the one in Benghazi, has a live streaming link to Washington DC. So, any statement pleading ignorance is patently untrue.

So far, all this is on the record. Question: why?

Here I speculate.

I detect the evil tentacles of Valerie Jarrett. ICYW, she is the one who put the kibosh on the murder of OBL 3 times, and the fourth time succeeded only because she personally gave the go ahead. The clearly dishonest behavior of the administration reeks of a principle of Ms. J: be best friends with radical Islam, and they will be friends in return.

What nonsense.