Do not get me wrong: I really like the "ask a mexican" guy, because he is painfully honest, which I greatly respect. A year ago, he wrote a column on this subject, but being a slow-minded citizen of the USA, I only just now became aware of it. My answers which are mostly (but sadly, not entirely tongue-in-cheek) are in [square brackets] following each of his comments.
I cut-n-paste his comments, but the full article can be found here:
http://www.ocweekly.com/2011-10-13/columns/ask-a-mexican-illegal-wrought-iron/
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DEAR MEXICAN: What is it about the word "illegal" that Mexicans don't understand? D.G.
DEAR GABACHO: Take your pick, D.G. Mexicans don't understand the word "illegal" because:
(A) when paying their gardeners, nannies, busboys and factory workers in cash (and forgetting to withhold payroll taxes), U.S. employers don't seem to understand the word "illegal," so why should Mexicans?
[OK, you score the first point. I personally know rich people who like hiring illegals, because they work for 1/3 the $$$ of union labor, besides not having to file the government paperwork]
(B) The Anglo-American trappers and traders whom you and I were taught to admire as tough, self-sufficient frontiersmen and pioneers were among the American Southwest's first illegals. Who are you calling illegal, gabacho?
[no, they were conquerers who had guns and took what they wanted. If a bunch of burrito rollers were to take over, say, San Diego with AK47s supplied by Obama's Fast 'n Furious campaign, I would not call them "illegals"]
(C) Presidente George W. Bush's proposal to offer amnesty and a guest-worker program during his administration to all illegal immigrants—a move designed to appease his supporters in the business community—means even Republicans don't understand the word.
[You score another point, but it would be fun to randomly spread rumors about an imminent INS raid at one of the bigger Mescan food joints in the Fruitvale District in Oakland, and watch them scatter like la cucaracha. I cite as my example a similar rumor spread a few years ago at Chicago meat packing plants: a rumor spread of an imminent raid, and the next morning the half dozen largest plants had zero employees. There was a raid, but only to capture one Mescan who was running an online scam. Within 24 hours, all the meat plants were 100% staffed with union labor.]
(D) Whether they buy a fake passport or take a citizenship oath, Mexicans will never be more than wetbacks in the eyes of many Americans, so why bother applying for residency?
[because people who buy fake green cards, not passports, are not elligible to apply for residency: they would have to go back to Mesco, apply, and stand line with the other millions who are following the rules, probably w/o real hope]
(E) The Society of Professional Journalists just passed a resolution asking newspapers to require its reporters to describe as "undocumented workers" the men and women you call "illegal."
[SPJ? pinche puto pendejo baboso. Are you trying to tell me that a piece of non-legal paper by a bunch of white guys with fat butts, is inspiring millions of Mescans to cross the border?]
(F) Little-known fact: The fragment of poetry on the Statue of Liberty ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free," etc.) does not, because of a French engraver's error, include Emma Lazarus' rarely cited footnote: "No Mexicans, please." Fucking French.
[little known fact: the language they speak in Mesco is not Spanish, but a dialect thereof, as I was educated of in no uncertain terms by a proud Spaniard who was born and raised in Spain; he called it the "Mexican" language. Likewise, the language we speak in the USA is not English, but a dialect thereof. So there.]
But the real answer is the word itself. "Illegal" is an English word; Mexicans speak Spanish—yet you never hear Mexicans whine that their bosses don't understand such easy Spanish phrases as "pinche puto pendejo baboso," do you?
[no, but I get your drift. I know, rather haltingly, 2 european languages, and a smattering of 3 others. Americans are notorious for, unlike the rest of the world, not being multilingual. (god, I hope I spelled that correctly...)]
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I am not racist, but some of you probably think I am and have already hit the 'delete web page' button. ICYW, I am ethnic Japanese. Being minority, I am, therefore immune to charges of racism, right? Yes? Hello??...
I hasten to point out a similar point: I live in the SF/Bay Area, with 2 distinctive and rather large Chinatowns. You enjoyed your plate of chop suey? Well, the odds of that skinny guy who cooked it being an illegal immigrant are about the same as that of a burrito-roller in the Fruitvale district in Oakland [to answer your next question, I have rolled both chinese egg rolls and Mescan burritoes professionally, and the technique is identical; the only difference is the accent of the guy screaming at you because you are going too slow.].
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